Doing nothing is beautiful

"...we do not always have to be productive, nor do we need to wait for a vacation to create some space for leisure."

Running on the treadmill is rarely my first choice, but when faced with either scorching heat or torrential rain, the treadmill in the basement beckons. In the last month, I’ve found myself running indoors on several occasions because of both conditions. I try to make the most of running on the treadmill, using it as an opportunity whenever possible to multi-task.  A recent treadmill work out reminded me that the drive to be constantly productive isn’t always the best strategy for nurturing one’s inner self.

This particular day, I was tuned into David Rocco’s Dolce Vita.  Within minutes, I was laughing aloud. The episode revolved around a professor who is throwing a party. The professor’s appearance immediately cracks me up.  He looks ridiculous in his Speedo underneath a bathrobe. Equally amusing to me is that he is relaxing beside a pool that is almost empty, and which he has been filling for three weeks. 

In praise of laziness

The professor is enjoying being idle, and he enlists the help of an old Italian saying, “Never do today what someone else can do tomorrow”, to justify his lack of productivity. On the surface, he seems to be praising laziness. And while this is the sort of attitude that typically gets under my skin, today it makes me laugh. It reminds me of our visit to Italy.

Treviso, Italy - The old and the new
M. McEwan photo

Last summer, we spent a few days with my relatives who live near Venice. While we were productive in that touristy sense of visiting historical sites, it was the moments of doing nothing that made the visit memorable. In typical Italian fashion, my relatives out did one another in their generous hospitality towards us, which meant long leisurely meals celebrating family and savoring the fruits of the garden as we sipped Prosecco, the wine of the region.

Recalling that experience, the professor’s brand of carpe diem philosophy took on new meaning. The professor wasn’t advocating idleness. He was promoting a form of leisure encapsulated in another Italian saying, il bel far niente, or “the beauty of doing nothing”.

Treviso, Italy
M. McEwan photo

This episode of Dolce Vita and the memories it evoked of my visit to Italy reminded me that we do not always have to be productive, nor do we need to wait for a vacation to create some space for leisure. We can punctuate life with moments of doing nothing. The simplest things, like water trickling into a pool or an impromptu party such as we enjoyed on my aunt’s portico the night before we left, can create the sensation of rest or celebration in an otherwise ordinary day.

Il bel far niente - a spiritual intuition

At the heart of il bel far niente lays a spiritual intuition; doing nothing enriches our spirit, nurtures our relationships and heightens our awareness of life’s many blessings. There is nothing flaky about doing nothing.

I hopped off the treadmill energized and full of enthusiasm. I had a plan to punctuate the day with an exclamation mark, with my take on il bel far niente.  I’d make pasta al limone and invite the kids over for an impromptu dinner party.  I could taste the sweetness of doing nothing.

Let's not blame Eve because Adam ate the apple

They countered with a parody campaign, ‘Don’t Be That Girl’. It’s a response to the 2013 ‘Don’t Be That Guy’ anti-sexual assault campaign.

The goal of ‘Don’t Be That Guy’ is to reduce the incidence of sexual assault by reaching out to perpetrators in its target demographic, 18-25 year old males. The campaign uses bold and direct posters to address the specific problem of sexual violence where alcohol consumption plays a major role.  The message is unequivocal: no consent or sex with someone unable to consent is sexual assault. 

Men’s Rights Edmonton has taken exception to the message. Using the images and layout of the ‘Don’t Be That Guy’ posters, the group has altered the language to disseminate their message: women lie about rape.  

The group’s website defends the posters. One post presents the view that there is a “present imbalance in the collective psyche” that the group is challenging with the “pro-male message” of their posters.  The “pro-male message” is that women commonly make false accusations about rape and this makes men the victims.  The other post rationalizes that the campaign raises awareness about false allegations.  While the group is correct that false allegations of rape damage the lives of those wrongly accused and constitute a wrong, it demonstrates a skewed view of the nature and frequency of sexual assault.

Men’s Rights Edmonton would have Canadians believe that false allegations are the norm when in fact they are rare. Through propagating the myth that women frequently lie about rape, the group reinforces the culture of violence against women, condones rape and rationalizes it by placing blame on the victim. The first blogger quoted above, in a callous show of disdain, dismisses victimization as “that tired out chestnut”, rhetorically demanding, “Victim? What victim? Give proof.” In this view, the real victim is almost always the guy.

The suggestion that a woman is responsible for her rape is to blame Eve because Adam ate the apple. In this prelapsarian myth embedded in the collective psyche, Adam points the finger at Eve and protesting his innocence exclaims, “She made me do it.” It is an unconvincing denial of responsibility and a display of moral immaturity.

‘Don’t Be That Girl’ exposes a deeply subconscious attitude, that of ‘woman as seducer’, which has been part of the collective psyche for millennia.  Regrettably, 1 in 5 Canadians still hold this view, and think that women provoke sexual assault either by their actions or appearance.  Although not the intention of ‘Don’t Be That Girl’, the campaign places the onus for rape on the woman.

The members of Men’s Rights Edmonton who support, endorse and proudly defend the campaign might be naively oblivious to the very real problem of sexual violence against women; it is much more likely that they are willfully blind.  ‘Don’t Be That Girl’ demonstrates the necessity for ‘Don’t Be That Guy’.

Men’s Rights Edmonton has a peculiar idea of what constitutes an acceptable method of advocating for men falsely accused. Their tactics are offensive and dangerous; the parodic campaign is an affront to both men and women. To unabashedly transform an anti-sexual assault campaign into an attack on the integrity of women is a strange way to promote the dignity of men.

 

Reading in the dog days of summer

It's a beautiful hot sunny summer's day. I've had my run, worked in the yard, and as soon as I complete this post, I'm going to pick up my book, ensconce myself under the shade of the gazebo and read.  

Renaissance poetry

As part of my summer's reading, I have set myself the goal of completing Dante's "La Commedia" (as the scholars call it).  It is not a work that I feel competent to appreciate on my own, so I have been watching lectures on it. (I found a wonderful, and free, course on Academic Earth; in addition, I have the "Great Courses" DVD lectures. There are several websites where readers can access the poem and commentary.) 

Fortunately, not every text requires the guidance of a scholar. Nor would I want my summer reading to require such extensive effort; that would lessen the pleasure of  reading for the sheer enjoyment of it on a blistering summer’s day.

Classic fiction
My book club always reads at least one classic work of fiction each year. This year we tackled “The Master and Margarita” by Mikhail Bulgakov, a novel that I first encountered in university. This thought provoking and funny book has entire websites devoted to it. While some readers may want to delve deeply into its political, economic, social and cultural contexts, the novel can be read for its highly original and macabre story - the devil’s visit to Moscow. 

Historical fiction
Historical fiction is one of my favorite genres, providing the book is well researched. I always turn to the back of the book to check the bibliography and the author’s acknowledgement before I select a piece of historical fiction. I have no problem with artistic license; I just want to know where and why an author has altered the facts. 

Kimberly Cutter’s “The Maid”, a novel about Joan of Arc, is a realistic portrayal of Joan’s life from the time she first hears voices until she is condemned to death.  Initially I was lukewarm about this novel, but after listening to Mary Himes interview Cutter on “Tapestry” I had a better appreciation for the book. Or maybe I was just impressed with Cutter’s dedication to her subject. Prior to putting pen to paper, Cutter retraced, on horseback, Joan’s historic journey to meet Le Dauphin.

Contemporary fiction

In the contemporary fiction category, I was taken with “All the Names”, by José Saramago, the Portuguese writer who won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1998. Once I overcame the long paragraphs that lacked the conventional punctuation that guides readers of English, I found the story totally engrossing.  The main character, Senhor José, works at the equivalent of the Vital Statistics Office. He becomes obsessed with an unknown woman. His quest to find her, which is really a quest for intimacy, becomes increasingly surreal. 

Biography

I am a fan of well-written biographies; for me, this means that the author does more than merely provide a chronological retelling of events. I like something that integrates facts, events and analysis. Robert K. Massie’s “Catherine the Great: A Portrait of a Woman” fits my criteria for a well-constructed biography. Adding to my enjoyment, this biography reads like a novel, and in Massie’s skillful hands Catherine comes to life. 

Spirituality 

I would be remiss if I neglected to mention something in the theology/spirituality category. Ronald Rolheiser OMI has written a wonderful series of meditations on the Eucharist. The book is not a dogmatic treatise on the sacrament. It discusses Eucharist as a mystery central to the life of faith and it considers the many ways in which Christians understand Eucharist. As always, Rolheiser writes in plain language and illustrates his insights with story. “Our One Great Act of Fidelity: Waiting for Christ in the Eucharist” is a must read for those who seek to deepen their understanding of Eucharist. 

Now, it's onto Canto X for me.  

Some problems with "An Act Respecting End-of-Life Care"

Quebec proposes to enact Bill 52, "An Act Respecting End-of-Life Care", as early as September 2013. The Act will enshrine "medical aid in dying", including assisted suicide, as part of the continuum of medical care at the end-of-life. 

Medical aid in dying will be available according to a set of controlled measures specified in the Act. My understanding from watching an interview with Quebec's Minister of Social Services, Veronique Hivon, is that these measures are intended to limit abuses, while providing a compassionate and caring response to those individuals who seek to hasten their death.

Bill 52 has implications for all of Canada regarding end-of life-care. The arguments are nuanced and require careful analysis.

While I recognize that Bill 52 expresses a deep concern for those who are suffering from an incurable disease at the end-of-life, I am not convinced that legislating a form of assisted suicide is the most compassionate response of a just society.

Autonomy and dying with dignity
In my view, the two most common arguments in favour of assisted suicide - autonomy and dying with dignity - are fundamentally flawed.

We rightly value and want to protect our personal autonomy. Yet, there is very little that we can ever completely control.  Our decisions are never made in a vacuum; our interactions with others, with society, and with events influence our decision-making.  The decisions we make affect not only our own self, but others as well.  

An individualistic determination to control one’s death at the end-of-life exceeds the realm of personal autonomy.  When we are well enough, we want to live; we eschew suicide.  When physical deterioration limits our self-sufficiency, we may want to die.  At that point, we may want another to do the very thing we would not do our self – take our own life. Legislation would frame this desire as an entitlement based on compassion, autonomy and dignity. 

In an earlier post, I expressed my opinion on dying with dignity. To reiterate, dying with dignity is almost always referred to in connection with progressively debilitating diseases; ALS and Alzheimer’s, for example, are frequently mentioned.  There is an underlying presumption that progressive diseases rob the individual of their dignity as suffering increases and the body deteriorates.  There is a perception that physical decline equals a loss of dignity.

The sacredness of the invidivual

We are in danger of developing a view of life that relies too heavily on the vigor of the body and its ability to function. This view limits the sacredness of the individual. It overlooks the emotional, psychological, and spiritual dimensions of the person. It excludes the possibility that the natural process of dying may also serve a metaphysical purpose.

Every individual has an innate and inviolable dignity that disease, suffering and death cannot erase.  The dignity of the individual manifests itself in the totality of body, mind and spirit. End-of-life care must always proceed in a manner that recognizes and reverences the sacredness of life and the dignity of the whole person. 

Experts in palliative care say that pain can be successfully controlled and managed. Yet, depending where we live, less than 30 percent of Canadians who are dying have access to or receive appropriate palliative care. Rather than focusing on assisted suicide, the creation of an accessible and universal palliative care program would help to ensure that the dying receive reverential care appropriate to the dignity of the human person.

Abortion should be safe, legal and rare

"For me, the child developing within the womb is not an exclusive reproductive right, but a gift entrusted to the care of both sexes."

With the recent death of Henry Morgentaler, abortion is again making its way into the public forum. Rationality is often missing from the discussion. The language from both the pro-life and pro-choice camps is frequently highly charged with emotion and vitriol.
In my most recent column, I strive to present an informed and measured approach to abortion.

In the ultrasound images, I thought I recognized the nose

I was excited about being a grandmother from the beginning, but when I saw the ultrasound images of the little one at 19 weeks, I was overcome with emotion.  We could clearly see the little feet, only millimeters long, and in the profile of the face, I thought I recognized the nose.  I stand in awe before the wondrous miracle of life.

Not everyone shares my wonder. There are some who have no compunction about terminating the life of the little person developing in the womb. For them, abortion is a woman’s reproductive right, a simple procedure as benign as removing a wart.  For me, a child developing within the womb is not an exclusive reproductive right, but a gift entrusted to the care of both sexes.

The polls

With the death of Henry Morgentaler, the famous abortion activist whose determination to provide safe abortions for women changed Canada’s abortion law, the highly divisive issue of abortion is once again attracting public attention in both traditional and online media formats.  Despite the public discussion, Prime Minister Stephen Harper refuses to allow any debate on abortion in Parliament, and a January 2013 Angus Reid poll concluded that although “Canadians have continued mixed personal feelings on abortion…the appetite for true legislative action is lacking.”   Two-thirds of Canadians polled are unwilling to re-open the debate on abortion.

The reluctance to formally debate abortion is puzzling given the interest in the topic and the findings of recent polls.  Could a lack of awareness about the absence of abortion laws in Canada explain, in part, our hesitation?

The Angus Reid poll notes “45 percent of respondents mistakenly assume that a woman can have an abortion only during the first three months of her pregnancy”.  Thirty-five percent support no restrictions on abortion, 5 percent would ban abortion, and 60 percent “express a preference to regulate abortion in different ways”: during the first trimester, in cases of rape, when the mother’s life is in danger, or if the fetus has serious defects.

A 2012 Ipsos Reid poll had similar, albeit confusing, findings: 49 percent of respondents said that there should be no restrictions on abortion, while 45 percent felt that abortion should be permitted only in “special circumstances”.  Yet, in the same poll, 60 percent of respondents favored gestational limits on abortion.

Coercion is a factor in many abortions

The Angus Reid poll reported that 43 percent of men and only 27 percent of women favor the status quo. This last finding hints at a problem with abortion that does not often make its way into the public discussion: coercion is a factor in a high percentage of abortions. 

While it is not always men who force a woman to have an abortion, the male partner plays a critical role in the decision.  Others who may exert pressure on a woman to abort include her mother, her father, a doctor or another medical professional. 

A 2004 study, reported in the “Medical Science Monitor”, found that 64 percent of women who had an abortion in the United States did so because of pressure from others. This was despite the woman’s desire to have the child.  Coercion is something to bear in mind when extolling abortion as a woman’s prerogative over her reproductive rights.

Coercion may also play a role in female feticide, which is becoming a cause of concern in Canada. Sex selective abortion is another area where the majority (60 percent of Canadians overall and 66 percent of women) believes there should be laws to “outline whether a woman can have an abortion based solely on the gender of the fetus” (Angus Reid poll on gender based abortion).

Not a rare procedure

Abortion in Canada is not a rare procedure. In 2012, the Canadian Institute for Health Information reported 64, 641 documented abortions in Canada, excluding Quebec.  Since 1979, there have been an estimated 3.5-4 million abortions in Canada.

Still, we remain ambivalent. Harper has read the mood of Canadians correctly. Collectively, we lack the political will to address the legislative vacuum created when the Supreme Court reversed Morgentaler’s conviction and struck down the abortion law in 1988.

Legal, safe and rare: its time to work on the latter

While I would prefer that we treasured and protected the miracle of life at every stage, Canada cannot go back to the days when the criminalization of abortion forced women into back alleys. Abortion, to paraphrase Hilary Clinton, should be legal, safe, and rare. Canada has the first two covered; it’s time to work on the third.